Q: I frequently hear a lot of guilt in high-achieving women over a lack of interest in sex or being too busy to have sex, which only adds stress to their already stressful lives. Any advice you can offer?
A: The classic in the field is Kathryn Hall’s Reclaiming Your Sexual Self. The heart of the book is the notion that there IS a sexual self, which needs to be honored. Sample advice: Don’t fake arousal. The sexual self doesn’t like it when you do. A more recent book I like a lot is Laurie Mintz’s The Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex. Sample advice: How can you expect to want sex if you never think about it? Give yourself permission to fantasize — when you’re at work, at the gym, etc. I spend a lot of time in my office talking with women about their erotic fantasies.

Q: I frequently hear a lot of guilt in high-achieving women over a lack of interest in sex or being too busy to have sex, which only adds stress to their already stressful lives. Any advice you can offer?

A: The classic in the field is Kathryn Hall’s Reclaiming Your Sexual Self. The heart of the book is the notion that there IS a sexual self, which needs to be honored. Sample advice: Don’t fake arousal. The sexual self doesn’t like it when you do. A more recent book I like a lot is Laurie Mintz’s The Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex. Sample advice: How can you expect to want sex if you never think about it? Give yourself permission to fantasize — when you’re at work, at the gym, etc. I spend a lot of time in my office talking with women about their erotic fantasies.