I don’t feel joyous submission in focusing on pleasing because I am not really being me. I am being a false me. The one that I thought a dominant wanted. So while I envy that feeling that a person gets from pleasing – I would not want to focus on pleasing as it not being me.
Obeying and serving are my focus.
Will I still envy that divine submission? Yes, but at the same time I don’t want it. I want something and I think I associate that divine submission with that. But I am not there yet.
What I can embrace and be happy about is serving is being me. It is there without even trying, worrying, obsessing or even at times thinking. It feels good and natural.
And Master is happy with my service.
loading…